Today is a difficult day for many Americans. September 11, 2001 was the day they no longer felt safe. As the buildings were falling it was like a piece of our denial was breaking along with the shattered glass.  No longer could we believe we were not going to lose people we love through no fault of our own. No longer could we believe we had control over our lives and those we loved. And for several people it was the day we grieved for someone we did not know.
            That day I was working in a safe shelter for children. A place to be if their parents were harming them or they were unmanageable at home. Sitting next to a co-worker whose mother lived in New York, I watched her frantically try to get through on a telephone system that was already saturated with others doing the same thing.
              The world was so stunned and many of us stayed glued to the television hoping the sight would be different.
              On that day I felt sad. Sad for the families of the men and women who died that day. The innocent building employees and the firemen and women who died with the hope of saving us. The following year I remember how people in the country changed. They were nicer and helped strangers. They thought about what might happen to themselves and families in an instant.

Today I am reflective of that day. It brings me back to the days I lost my father and my son. It makes me want to hug someone and ask them to lie to me and say everything will be alright. Tonight I light a candle for those who died and wish this horrible event was just a dream.

                                           What does Grief feel like?

Grief can feel like many things. Just after a death has occurred it is very common for you to feel numb, as if you were in shock.  This is how your body instinctively reacts to pain

      You may find yourself searching for your loved one

•     This form of searching may range from dreams that seem as real as life, all the way to hallucinations caused by familiar sounds, smells, and sights.

 

•     These may come when you least expect them, causing you to be caught off-guard and unprepared.

 

•    This searching is normal, and is an important part of adjusting to your loss. The griever may begin calling out to the loved person/thing and often asking for them to return.

 

                   

                                              Behaviors you may feel

•   You may find you are eating too much or too little.

 

•   Many people begin declining invitations and seem to have loss of interest in the world.

 

•   Dreams of the deceased can be traditional dreams or nightmares.

 

•   To avoid the reality of the death some people begin putting away everything that reminded them of their loved one - or get rid of everything too soon after the loss.

 

•   Restlessness and not being able to stay at home alone is often felt. Many people begin driving around to find relief.

 

•   Carrying objects and visiting places that remind us of the loss may bring comfort.

 

•   Wearing clothing belonging to the deceased person or having something to hold that was theirs often reduces the intense sadness.

I have officially arrived. I have a company name, business cards and now my very own website! This time last year my "book" was just groups of pages and thoughts I had written over the years about how I survived losing one of my sons .

Even now 11 years after that tragic day I get misty and cry when a song, a person from his past or a memory brings it right back to my heart.

Determination and persistance have brough me to this day. Almost every month in the last year something has happened to give me an "out" to give up the dream. But it felt so good when I held that first copy in my hand. It warmed my heart when someone who read the book said - "it helped me heal".

It made me feel like going through the fire and pain was worth something. Do I wish I never had to lose him...every day of my life

I invite you to share what me

Something you have worked to make happen in your life or what you hope to make happen in the future.

Dream BIG...why not!

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